One More Day

I love how music can take you to a specific time in the past. I was listening to the Tim McGraw radio station on Pandora this morning at work and a song from my past came on and grabbed my heart and tugged. One More Day by Diamond Rio came on and I was instantly taken back to the summer of 2003. I'm pulling out of Anna's parent's driveway, headed back to Indiana, in my 1996 Chevy S-10 just a sobbing mess and One more Day by Diamond Rio comes on the radio. 

A little background to that time in our lives. I had just graduated from St. Joseph's College and Anna had finished her Junior year. She got to go home for only a few days and then was headed off to Kanakuk Kamps where she was a Counselor all summer. She was going to be at Kanakuk until she had to go home for one night and turn back around to go to St. Joe for soccer season and her senior year. I decided I was going to drive to St. Louis after work one day to see Anna then have to turn around and go home the next day because she had to leave for Kamp. I was going to do 14 hours of driving to get to see her for about 12 and most of those would be spent sleeping (in different rooms of different levels of the house.) As the next day rolled around it was time for me to leave and the reality of not getting to see her for the rest of the summer set in and I was crushed. Leaving that day, pulling out of the driveway was one of the most emotionally painful moments of my life. I did not want to leave her and I did not want to go three months before I got to see her again. I sobbed in her driveway saying goodbye to her, then got in my truck and left. Somewhere around I-255 at the J.B. Bridge crossing the Mississippi into Illinois One More Day by Diamond Rio came on. I though my heart had been ripped out of my chest before, that song really did me in. 

I was, and still am, crazy in love with Anna during all this. We hadn't been dating long but I feel hard for her fast so the thought of being away from her that long hurt really bad. We talked that summer when we were able to and I hand wrote her a letter every day so she would have mail to read while she was at Kamp. We, I, made it through the summer but every time I hear that song by Diamond Rio I am instantly taken back to that day in Anna's parent's driveway. 

Something GREAT happened last night

Derek Jeter's last AB at Yankee Stadium

Start by clicking this link (above) and watch the full 6 minute video.

Let me start by saying the following blog is my opinion and I am in no way an expert on the topic. I played baseball my whole life, my apex being at a High School Varsity level for two years. In that time I was an average, at best, baseball player. I love the game though, if you know anything about me or have read any older posts you'll see the level of admiration I have for everything about this game.

Last night was Derek Jeter's final home game of a storied 20 year career for the New York Yankees. He announced his retirement from baseball at the beginning of this season and has been sent off in almost every stadium he's played in along the way. Last night however was his final go round in the Bronx. It played out like every little boy who ever imagined himself playing in the bigs could script it. It's the bottom of the 9th inning, there's one out a runner on second and the Captain is coming up to the plate! A base hit will almost certainly score the runner from second. Jeter walks up to the plate, digs in and sets up for the delivery. It's a belt high fastball and in true Derek Jeter fashion he drives it between first and second just past the glove of the diving Oriole first baseman and into right field. The right fielder comes up with it cleanly and makes a good throw to the plate. The throw is just wide, the catcher has trouble coming up with it cleanly and the base-runner scores on a head first slide into home. Let the celebration begin folds! 

This is GREAT because Derek Jeter has had a Hall of Fame career and this is how it should end for such an ambassador of the sport. Here's just a few numbers to back what I'm talking about. 

-He's played in 2,745 games.

-He's had 12,598 plate appearances.

-He's collected 3,463 base hits.

-He's got a career batting average of .309

-He was the 1996 Rooke of the Year.

-He's a 5 time World Series champion.

-He's the 2000 World Series MVP.

-He's a 14 time All Star

-He's a 5 time Gold Glover.

-He's a 5 time Silver Slugger. 

Where Derek Jeter falls in the history books as far as "leaders" and "greats" is debatable but what is not debatable is that he is an all time great and he has orchestrated an impressive career that will undoubtedly land him in the Hall of Fame. He has handled his career and celebrity with a level of class and humility that is very refreshing. I am not a New York Yankee fan but for me it's impossible to not be a Derek Jeter fan and therefore fall in love, a bit, with the story book nature of him being a career Yankee and accomplishing everything that he did as a member of one of the most storied franchisees in baseball history. 

Now for the sentimental part of it all. I watched another video Derek did after the game talking about the feelings of it all. He said during the top half of the first inning he was on the verge of breakdown and actually thought "please don't hit it to me." The emotion of taking the field for the last time caught up to him and he "really thought he was going to break down." Then he said again in the last inning knowing this was the last time he would run out onto the field at Yankee Stadium it caught up to him again. Baseball is a game and I would even go as far to say it's a kids game. By the numbers only a fraction of a fraction of kids who play as children get the opportunity to play at the professional level. For that very select handful they get to continue to play the game as a grown up and that is the ultimate child's dream. So when it comes to an end it is very hard. It is very hard because you've spent your whole life playing a game you loved so much as a child and the memories are countless. 

I was only ever a Varsity level High School baseball player at my best but remember my last game like I played in it yesterday. After watching Jeter wrap it up last night I remember how emotional it is when it hits you that this is it. I'll never play another game of competitive baseball again. For me it was in the summer of 1999 and the Goshen High School Redskins made a run in the Sectional tournament and actually came out as the Sectional Champions! That alone was a crowning moment for us, but we got the opportunity to move on to the Regional championship with the winner of that game playing in Semi-State. We were two games away from the Indiana State finals! It wasn't our day in the Regional finals, we played a Ft. Wayne Northrop team who was very good. Statistically they were better than we were. We were, however, a team of young men who had played this game together for about 13 years. We started together in Goshen Little League at 5 and 6 years old. We stayed together and played Freshman, Junior Varsity and Varsity baseball together. We were as tight a team as I have ever played on or coached. We had Northrop, we were winning, playing an excellent team game but in the end it was their day and not ours and for almost every one of us that was the last baseball game we ever played. I remember standing on the top step of that dug out in Warsaw Indiana and feeling the weight of my last game being over, it was heavy. 

Like I said before baseball is a game and it's fun! Standing in the sun wearing the uniform, smelling fresh cut grass, smelling pine tar, the sound of metal cleats clicking on concrete, the feeling of steeping up the plate or running out to your position are great feelings that you keep long after your days are done. 

So thanks Derek Jeter for being an excellent ambassador for the sport that I love. Thanks for taking me down memory lane and congratulations on a Hall of Fame career. 

The worst blogger in the history of blogging

Welcome back! I know it's been over a year since I last blogged. I'm the worst blogger in the history of blogging. But I'm back now! I thought I would take some time to do a little catch up with what's going on in the Brillhart house, which is new in case you didn't know. I'll keep it quick!

I'm still working for St. Louis Parking Company but have moved from Union Station out to Clayton. It's been an awesome move and I am very happy here! Anna is still working for Blueline Rentals, formerly Volvo Rents and is happy there too! The boys are both in pre-school this year. Leyton is in his second year and will be going to Kindergarten next year. Ryder is in his first year of pre-school and has one more year of it after this before he goes off to Kindergarten. The house in Indiana sold! We bought a house in Imperial (just South of St. Louis) on a little pond and it's great! The pic below is off our deck overlooking the water and is me, my Father-in-Law and Brother-in-Law fishing.

In the beginning of August I got to go on a mission trip to Arizona and Utah to work on a Navajo Indian reservation with some of our youth from church. That was a great trip where I met some incredible people doing God's work in a place where it's desperately needed. Our church, Crosspoint, is great we have really found a home here where the Holy Spirit is alive and well. I am a member of the Safety Team and Landscape Team and Anna just moved up to keys 1 in the worship band! Crosspoint is launching a satellite church in O'Fallon Illinois in a couple weeks which is very exciting. There has been a lot of thought, planning and most importantly prayer put into this and we are all very excited about the opportunities there!

Anna is as beautiful as ever and I still don't have any hair...

A good friend took some pictures of the boys recently and put them on the cover of the magazine he works for!

See, there you go. Nice and quick. I'll work on doing a better job of keeping this thing updated.

Father's Day

 

 

 

     *Let me preface this by saying I have a lot of different things that give my life meaning. My faith in Jesus, my beautiful wife Anna, my extended family, my career... I am choosing today to talk specifically about one aspect, being a dad...

     So Father's Day is coming up the day after tomorrow! I know I'm early but I've been thinking about it a lot for the last few days and want to jot a few things down while it's fresh in my mind. Sunday I am looking forward to spending the day with a lot of family and having everyone be extra nice to me! However I did take some time to reflect back on my life before I was a father and as I think about it I feel like I should be celebrating my sons this Sunday.

     On Father's Day Leyton will be a little over three and a half years old and Ryder will be a little over two and a half years old. I feel like I found new purpose in life when my sons were born, first with Leyton and then more a year later when Ryder was born. 27 days before Leyton came into this world I took my last drink of alcohol! Since my sons have been born I have found a new sense of importance in how I take care of myself physically and subsequently have lost 50 pounds in the last year. I guess what happened was that I grew to love those boys so much that the thought of them growing up with a dad who drinks too much was more than I could bear. The thought of them having to go through life without a dad to chase them around the yard, or play catch with or play basketball with or even worse not have me around at all because I didn't take care of myself physically was too much for me. So I kicked a very tough addiction to alcohol and I started taking better care of myself. I have a much deeper understanding and love for my Heavenly Father and His love for me now that I know how it feels to have sons. I take my career more seriously and work harder and with more purpose than I ever had before. You see I love being a dad to Leyton and Ryder so much that I want to be the best I can be in every way so that I can provide, financially, for them and so that I can be the best role model of a man that I can be. I want to show them how a man is supposed to love Jesus and a wife, FOREVER. I want to provide physical and spiritual protection for them and be around for a long time to see their children and their grandchildren grow up. Being a dad is no easy task but it's one that I gladly take on and take very seriously. When my sons were born I realized what my "purpose" was in life and that was to be the best father I could be to Leyton and Ryder and any other children that God might bless Anna and I with. I don't know if there's a role I love more in life than the role of being dad. I am very lucky that I get to drop them off at Day Care once in a while and pick them up almost every day. There is no better feeling than when they see me walk in after being at work all day and hearing "daaaaaaddddyyyyyy!" and having two little boys run over for a hug. For me it doesn't get better. Getting to watch them grow and develop and learn new things every day with mine and Anna's guidance is awesome. Unsolicited "I love you daddy's" unseen punches in the stomach, cuddling on the couch at the end of the night and teachable moments fill me up and make me feel so blessed to be the dad of those two perfect little boys.

     So on this Father's day I really should be celebrating Leyton James and Ryder Scott Brillhart because they have made me a much better man than I ever was without them!

Employment!

     I am elated to report that I have accepted a job offer in St. Louis! Since moving here in June I have been job hunting for full time employment while still working remotely for the company I worked for in Indiana. Just this week I accepted a job offer from St. Louis Parking Company as a Building Manager for their facility at Union Station in downtown St. Louis.
     A little about this journey of employment for me. When Anna and I made the decision to move to St. Louis with her having a job here and me not we seriously considered every possible outcome in regards to employment for  me. We considered (and hoped for) me finding a job here immediately. We also talked about the possibility of me not finding a job before my temporary contract with my job in Indiana expired, thus making me unemployed. But what we did the most of was pray. We prayed for wisdom in our decision making, we prayed for favor and we prayed that I find a job! God had shown us both during our transition to St. Louis that he was taking care of us. From Anna's job, to a place to live here, day care that we trusted for the boys. All of those things God just helped us check off the list one by one and gave us an overwhelming feeling of comfort in our decisions with them. So what we were left with was me finding a job, and selling our home in Goshen. We just had such an overwhelming feeling that God was with us, and had our best interests in mind we did not (at times did our best to not) worry about those two things. My contract with work in Indiana came to an end and I had not found work here yet, but through God's goodness they needed my help for longer and extended my contract with them. That happened twice while I was here, my time was running short, I did not have a job here and they extended my contract. This last time my contract was extended to November 30th and they made it very clear that would be my final day. No more extensions, that was it. Then just last week a friend from church emailed me a job opening at a company here in St. Louis. I did my research on the company (you can find out a lot on google) and got a good feeling about the company so I submitted my resume and cover letter. I was contacted in less than a week and asked if I could come downtown to interview. My interview went so well that I was asked right there if I would come back the next day and shadow one of their current managers so I would have a little better feel for the position helping me make my decision if an offer were to be made. I of course said yes and was able to shadow a manager the next day. I had a great feeling about this company withing the first few minutes of my interview and those feelings were only confirmed when I was out shadowing in the field. One thing I always pray for is that God make decisions easy for me, make His will be very clear in one way or another and I have found that when I seek Him out and follow His will He will show me the direction He wants me to go. This overwhelming good feeling about this position and the company as a whole was God's way of showing me this was right for me. Within a few days of my job shadow I was contacted on my phone and told that they felt I was the man for their job and were going to submit a formal job offer to me in writing the next day! The offer was exactly what I needed and even a little more and I happily accepted the position yesterday afternoon! I will start with them on Monday November 12th. My journey started in the beginning of June with a lot of uncertainty about employment, limited time for work from Indiana and a lot of praying by a lot of people. Fast forward five months and I am still employed with my company in Indiana, have accepted a great position here in St. Louis and will have zero time of unemployment between. My last day with my old company will be Friday November 9th and I am starting my new job the following Monday! God has shown me time and time again that he has my best interest at heart. That interest may not always coincide with my timing or my ideas but I have found that if I trust Him and continue to seek His will He will follow through. Like I said he just continues to check the things off the list for us. The only thing we have left is our home in Goshen is still on the market. Anna and I will do everything that we can do to make sure it sells, but have learned that we will trust in the Lord and when the time is right He will deliver the right family to see it and make us an offer that we are comfortable with!

It's October!

It's fall all across America and fall is my favorite time of year! Just thought I would share a few of the reasons why.

I love the outdoors, I have always preferred to be outside than inside. I especially love the scenery of the outdoors, trees, lakes, ponds I just love everything about it! So this time of year when the temperature is a little cooler, the leaves have started turning colors and there is just a crispness in the air really puts me in a happy place! I love to get out and go camping (I wish I could do it more) and this time of year for me is without a doubt the best time to pitch a tent and stay out in creation for a while!

The Ohio State football! Usually by this time of year the Buckeyes are 6-0 and getting into the heart of their conference schedule playing powerhouses like Nebraska, Iowa, Wisconsin and Michigan (BOO). There's just something about watching the Buckeye's play that makes me happy, I don't know if it's the Scarlet jerseys or the metallic sparkle of the helmet, or the history and tradition that they have but I love Buckeye football and this time of year gives it to me!

This is a picture from October 6th 1997. The Cleveland Indians has just beaten the New York Yankee's in game 5 of the ALDS to advance to the ALCS. I was at that game sitting in the left field bleachers with my Grandpa, Dad, Grandma and two Aunts! It was awesome! I love the game of baseball, I love the Cleveland Indians and I love playoff baseball. It brings a whole new level of excitement to the game that it just incredible to watch!

Since my Indians haven't showed up to play since the mid 90's and I married into a die hard St. Louis Cardinals family I have thoroughly enjoyed watching the Red Bird's play in October last year and this year! It brings me back those exciting feelings of watching my team in the playoffs again! The Cards are a scrappy team that just refuses to die no matter how far behind they get. Watching them play with their backs against wall for the last month of last season all the way through winning the World Series was awesome! If my Indians cant be there I am completely happy rooting for the Cardinals!

So there's just a handful of reasons why this time of year really makes me happy!

Wild At Heart: Grace Community Church (Goshen, IN) Men's Retreat

 

     Today I am extremely excited and pretty bummed out about Grace Community Church's Wild At Heart men's retreat that leaves for camping in Western Maryland this afternoon. I'm excited because this is an awesome time and opportunity for the men of Grace to link arms with one another in a safe environment where men can come together and experience God firsthand and see incredible breakthrough in their lives! I am pretty bummed out because for the first time in four years I will be missing this one.

 

     Wild At Heart is a weekend of men getting together and being men! It's shooting shotguns and pistols, it's 4 wheel drive climbing up a mountain, it's running through the woods, camping out under the stars, 40 foot fires, canoe trips in the most beautiful environment I've ever seen. It's camaraderie, team work, fellowship and personal time with God and it is without a doubt one of the most awesome times I have all year long!

 

     It was four years ago that I went on my first Wild At Heart and I got grouped up in a pick up truck with three other guys I had never officially met before. Usually somewhere between 12-15 pick up trucks, SUV's and 16 passenger vans caravan to Maryland and the driving assignments are completely random. We drove the 10 hours (one way) to get to Maryland at about 1:00 in the morning and set up camp by head lamps and headlights shining from the vehicles. This particular trip four years ago found me in a weird place in my life. Anna was about six months pregnant with Leyton, I was drinking far too much as well as being wrapped up in a few other vices. As far as my walk with Jesus went I was luke warm at best. We went to church on Sundays but that was about it for me. I believed in Jesus and what he did for me on the cross but my every day life did not reflect my gratitude for that at all. I was in a scary place for a married man who had his first child on the way. While I was there I was in a group of men with a leader named Jason and Jason was (and still is) a really awesome guy. Someone I knew of, but didn't know well and my time with him in this group only showed me how awesome he really was! We had some very real talks in our groups about things that men struggle with. Most importantly, for me, I learned that my struggles were not just my own that quite a few men in my group plus the whole large group (about 75 men that year) struggle with. We were able to come together as a group of men and link arms and say "you are not fighting this fight alone brother, I a fighting it with you. And if you'll keep fighting for me I'll keep fighting for you." I can't begin to explain in words the overwhelming feeling I got when I realized that these guys all wanted to link arms with me, right where I was, and press on fighting this fight together. One of the biggest tricks the enemy tries to pull on men (and women too I'm sure) is to try to get us to believe that the things we struggle with are so bad that we are the only ones who are hurting in that area thus keeping it to ourselves. Once a few guys got transparent with me and told me their hurts, their struggles, their shortcomings it made me realize that I'm not the only one who falls short in these areas. Some of us struggle in different areas, some of us fight the same fight but what was most important for me to realize was that we are all fighting and now we are fighting together!

 

     Back to those guys I was in a pick up truck with for the 20 hours of driving round trip. (Well what should have been 20 hours, somehow my driver did it in like 11!) Two of those three men in that truck plus myself struck up a friendship that lasted long past that weekend. We came home and stayed up with one another, went to breakfasts once a month, sent multiple texts a week, saw each other face to face a couple times a week at church and ended up becoming an accountability group. Those two men have celebrated some of my highest highs with me over the last few years. Just as importantly they have walked beside me and even carried me through some of my lowest lows also. We have been able to be 100% honest with each other without the fear of judgement but with the love of an accountability partner who will kick you in the teeth when you need it. I have enjoyed doing life, closely, with them and having them do it with me. I have celebrated births of children with them, graduations, anniversary's, breakthroughs and my own sobriety. Together we have also battled the enemy and his attempts to get into our lives, we've fought through tough times and even picked each other up when we fell. You see when you can be 100% honest, show who you really are, even the ugly stuff to someone knowing that they would never break that trust, never air your dirty laundry to the world you gain the power to fight against those things in a group and believe me when I say that once you get those things out in the open they are much easier to fight against. If you know me, or have followed my blogs or Facebook page you know that accountability is something that I take very seriously and hold my accountability partners very close to me.

 

     On that first trip for me four years ago I planted my flag in the ground on that mountainside in Western Maryland and said I will no longer let the enemy have a stranglehold on me or my life. With the help of Jason, my accountability partners and every other man that I linked arms with that weekend I decided to make a life change and it has been the best thing I have ever done for myself, my wife and my sons. God shows up in a huge way every year on that mountainside and moves in the hearts of men, I have seen it firsthand. I just pray right now that as men are getting ready in Goshen Indiana to take off this afternoon God start moving, move in their hearts and I pray that the holy spirit be there on that mountainside when they arrive at about 1:00 in the morning tonight.

 

     Here's a video from a Wild At Heart from a few years ago to give you a small look into what it's like there!

 

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