Dream Vacation

I have to admit it's hard for me to find "good" things about Anna being gone. Really there are none, I miss her terribly and wish we were together again. If I had to choose one good thing about it, I suppose I would say it's having control of the remote all the time. I spend my time watching educational and interesting television on good channels like the History Channel and A&E. My two favorite shows are Swamp People and Duck Dynasty! If I could choose how I got to spend a two week vacation just for me it would be to spend a week hunting alligators with Troy Landry, I can hear him now "shoooot him Ryan!" Then I would spend a week enjoying the good life of the Robertson's from Duck Dynasty. Hunting snakes and playing in the mud with Uncle Si, Phil, Willie, big Johnny Godwin, Martin and Jayse sounds like a good time to me! I love the outdoors, I love wildlife and nature. Water and trees and just being out in it brings me to life. So if you are reading this and are looking to sponsor someone for a 2 week vacation, I would love to spend a week with Troy Landry from Swamp People then a week with the Robertson's from Duck Dynasty!

Accountability and Discipline

I took this picture right after I got home from running my fourth half marathon (May 5th, 2012) in five years. It's of my running shoes, my Nike+ Sportband and all four of my finishers medals that I got for finishing the race. That picture captures four different years worth of very different trainings for me. The first year I ran, 2008, was my first race of more than 3.1 miles and I took training kind of seriously. I put my miles in, but focused more on just finishing/surviving than racing. I finished somewhere around 2 hours and 45 minutes. Not too bad for a first time half marathon! Then the second and third ones I ran in 2009 and 2010 I didn't hardly train at all. Probably less than 30 miles worth of running each. I just thought, "I've done this before, what am I shooting for anyway?" And subsequently my times were terrible both of them well over 3 hours. To be honest I probably even gained weight during those two years of training. I took 2011 off with two very young sons "there wasn't any time to train." Then this year rolls around any my brother in law, Andy, asks us who wants to run the half marathon again. Without hesitation I stepped up and said I would. Over the last few years, my weight and overall health had started to slip away from me. My doctor said I was about 50 pounds overweight and at the time I couldnt even finish 1 mile running without needing to stop, I was in terrible shape. So I made a commitment to my family and my accountability partners that I was going to take my training seriously this year and even set a time goal and a weight loss goal. I wanted to beat my old personal best time of 2 hours and 45 minutes by at least 15 minutes and I wanted to lose 38 pounds by race day. My whole family got on board with me and even one of my accountability partners signed up to run, 8 of us in total. So in February of this year I started running, only one mile at a time at the beginning because I couldn't do much more than that. But as time wore on and I logged more miles I was able to run further and further and I was even starting to lost a little weight. So as I was able to run further and further I made sure that I was also pushing to get faster and faster. So I was running more miles faster than I ever had. I really got my diet in check and lost those 38 pounds in just a couple months 1 full month before the date I was shooting for! So I set a new goal to lose 12 more and be down a total of 50 pounds by race day. It seemed like in the last month I was setting a new personal best every time I went out to run my 5k and 10k times were way lower than they had ever been and I was averaging about a 9 minute mile pace for a 10 mile run! It was awesome my training could not have gone any better than it did. I ran further, I ran faster and I was losing a lot of weight. The best part of it was that a lot of people I care about were doing it with me! Race day came and I beat my personal best by about 20 minutes so I killed that goal and I was down a total of 46 pounds. So I missed that one but still feel good about being down 46 pounds. *Editors note* today I am down 49 pounds and WILL get that last pound off! I said all that to say this. The difference this year for me was two fold really. First I needed the help of my friends and family. I needed someone to kick me in the butt when I was being lazy, I needed someone to call me a fatty when I wasn't eating well. I needed them to help hold me accountable, most of us will not do it on our own. I don't say we can't do it on our own because we could, we just don't. So the help of them was needed very much. The second part of this training for me came down to discipline. They can push and call me fatty all day long but if i dont get my big behind off the couch and run it doesn't matter. I needed to show discipline. I needed it in my diet, every meal, every snack every drink I put into my body every day I needed to show discipline with. And I ndded discipline in my work outs as well. Running is time consuming, and I needed to discipine myself to make that a priority and then get out and do it! Once those became constants in my life, it came easier and easier to eat right and keep working out. They soon became habbits and are now a part of my daily routine. So where do you need some discipline in your life? Do you need to get honest with someone and ask them to kick you in the butt in a particular area that you are struggling with? I have continued running since my race so that I dont fall off the wagon and I have signed up for a mini triathalon and a 5k this summer still and there is a chance that I'll sign up for another half marathon too. Accountability and discipline!

Lecrae Unashamed Music Video

I'm unashamed.

The real story of Anna and Ryan

I love this picture of Anna and I. It was taken a little over a year ago, Leyton wasn't quite a year old and Anna was pregnant with Ryder at the time...

Last week I told you how Anna and I met... Today I want to take the time to give you the real story of Anna and Ryan.

It really did start at St. Joseph's College in Rensselaer Indiana in 2002-2003. Three of my roommates had a class with Anna, I think it was a Core class, but you'd have to ask her to be sure. That doesn't really matter, what does matter is that is how I was introduced to Anna Westwood! Over time they all made friends with her which lead to her and her friends coming over to hang out with us. It didn't take long for Anna to become the "it" girl on campus for all us. My roommates and I lived in a suite on the second floor of a dormitory that Anna, as well as almost every other student on campus, had to walk past every day to get to every single one of her classes. We would sit on our couch in our living room and watch out the window for Anna as she would walk past to class. Then we would scream out the window at her things like, "Anna Westwood, I love you!" Or, "Anna Westwood will you marry me?" Then like little children we would duck down below the window as if her and every other person walking past didn't know it was us professing our love for her.

Let me give you a little back story on me at that time. I had done a good job in my first three years of college creating a reputation for myself. I was a functioning alcoholic, meaning I was drunk most nights but was still able to get up and go to class, get my homework done and even make pretty good grades all the while. (I graduated with a 3.0) Along with my alcohol dependency I had gotten myself wrapped up in some other pretty ugly vices...

Back to our story. Anna and I were getting to spend a lot of time together as "friends." I had a girlfriend from home at the time, so to Anna I was a non threatening male. Since I had a girlfriend she didn't have to worry about me coming on to her... Little did she know that at this point I had fallen pretty hard for her. Anna was very tall, she was a college soccer player so she was in incredible shape. She had long blond hair and blue eyes! My favorite quality of Anna's though was that she was very head strong. She didn't allow anyone to push her around, she was very independent! I was sold... My relationship at home had been bad for a long time, so it didn't take long of Anna being around for me to throw in the towel on that relationship. After what I decided to be an acceptable grace period of being single I asked Anna to go out on a date with me. Remember, Anna was painfully beautiful, smart and didn't fall for stupid boys (like me.) But for some reason, that I credit God for, she did agree to go out on a date with me! Back then my roommates and I gave plasma for spending money. My mom and dad were shelling out a lot of money for me to go to St. Joe so I felt bad asking them for spending money. So the roomies and I found a plasma donation center that would pay us $55 dollars a week for our time. So twice a week, every week for three years we gave plasma for spending money. When Anna agreed to go out on a date with me I saved my plasma money for two weeks so I had enough to take her to Outback Steakhouse and to see a movie. We went to Merrilville to eat and see Anger Management with Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. Since I did a poor job planning our time we had about an hour after dinner was over before the movie started. So I drove us to the theater and we just say in my truck and talked. The date was going pretty awesome, conversation came easy and we didn't run out of things to talk about. We had built a friendship before this so we were comfortable with one another. Comfortable enough that we even talked about some heavy issues during that time in my truck. Then after a while of great conversation Anna took her opportunity to tell me, "if you want me to take you seriously and continue going out on dates with you, you need to get your life right." BOOM! She laid it out there, if I wanted to continue seeing her, which I did very badly, I needed to clean up a few areas of my life.

Fast forward nearly 9 years to today and Anna and I have been married for almost 7 years. (November 27th will be 7 years) I took Anna seriously that night, the feeling of having her next to me was a feeling that I cannot describe and I knew that I never wanted that to go away. I wanted her to be mine, I wanted to take her off the market quickly before every other boy at St. Joe realized what I had and tried to take her from me. I fell in love with Anna very shortly after that first date, and my life has been so much better ever since. Today I am a strong leader of my household, I am a strong and loving husband and father and I am a strong believer in God and Jesus Christ and what they did for me. I am strong in all those categories because Anna is constantly whispering in my ear, "you are doing a great job," "you are an amazing leader, keep up the good work," "I love you." Behind this strong man is a beautiful and strong woman who helped make me what I am today. You see 9 years ago Anna saved my life so that Jesus could save my soul and I am so grateful for both of those things happening. Anna still do this day is breathtakingly beautiful, my heart still beats really fast when I get around her. I love her so much more today than I did 9 years ago when we started dating. I have said it many times and I'll say it many more, when it comes to Anna and I; I'm the lucky one!

Here is a little love song (my favorite) for my beautiful angle eyed wife.

My family

I thought I would take a few minutes today and blog about one of the thing's nearest to my heart; my family. I have been very blessed in life to be married to Anna Cathleen and she has blessed me to two handsome and strong boys, Leyton James and Ryder Scott.



This is a picture of my beautiful wife Anna. I'm sure if you asked her how we met she would tell you a different story, but I'll give you the real version of how Anna and I met and began dating. Anna and I went to St. Joseph's College together for three years but didn't actually meet until the last of those three years. She was in a couple classes with my a couple of my roommates. Since my roommates and I were the "cool kids" on campus her and her friends desperately wanted to come over and hang out with us all the time. They were always calling and asking if they could come over... But seriously take a look at her, who would say no to her? So after spending quite a bit of time together we got to be friends and that led to her asking me if I would take her out on a date. She said she had a crush on me for a long time and really wanted me to take her out. Again, she's hot, so of course I took her out on a date! We went out to eat at Outback Steakhouse and saw Anger Management in Merrilville IN and the rest, they say, is history. She fell head over heels in love with me, and then I fell in love with her. We were married November 27th 2004, it was the greatest day of my life! That is the 100% true story of how Anna and I met and fell in love, no matter what she tells you.



This is a picture of our oldest son Leyton James, he's almost two years old and one of the two greatest things I have ever had a part in! It took Anna and I a little longer than we expected to get pregnant but after a while we finally did and Leyton is what we got! He is a very smart little boy, he loves to read and be read to. He is also 100% boy, everything he picks up turns into a sword or some sort of club that he can hit everything with. He has an infectious smile and laugh with just the slightest bit of orneriness behind his bright blue eyes. He loves to wrestle now and will blindside tackle you if you're not paying attention.



364 days after Leyton was born Ryder came into this world! It took Anna and I so long to get pregnant with Leyton we were nervous that it would take that long again and we were wrong! Ryder is a completely different little boy than his brother. He's about eight months old and he is my cuddly boy. Ryder loves to be close to people. Leyton is a little more independent and is always doing things on his own. Ryder is completely content being held by or sitting on the lap of whoever is near. He has the most adorable little giggly laugh I have ever heard. He is a very bright eyed and happy boy. Just a look his direction and he smiles from ear to ear at you. He is an adventurous eight month old. He likes to be upside down and will try to throw himself backwards and upside down if you're not paying attention while holding him.

That's a brief introduction to my family. Let me say this, being Anna's husband and Leyton and Ryder's dad give me more satisfaction than anything I have ever done in this life. If all I ever did was spend time with those three I would be completely fulfilled. It's after having my two sons that I know I was made to be a father and husband. I love to go through life with Anna and learn new things every day with Leyton and Ryder. God has blessed me more than I could ever write to you in this blog with those three. I very much look forward to living a long and happy life with my wife, and watching my boys grow up to be strong men who will eventually venture out on their own and make their own ways in life. So to Anna, Leyton and Ryder I love you three so much it makes my heart hurt. Thanks for loving me back!

Focus

I saw this picture on the internet today as I was checking ESPN at lunch time and I just thought, WOW, when I looked at it. I thought wow for many different reasons, the first being "that guy has huge forearms." It also struck me because, if I am being honest, I am a HUGE Albert Pujols fan. I am an Albert fan because A) he is the greatest baseball player of this generation and B) he is an incredible christian/human being (wikipedia him if you don't know who he is.) But I also thought wow because fundamentally everything about his swing in that second is perfect! His knuckles are lined up correctly, hips open, hands out in front, chin on his back shoulder, the bat is cutting the ball in half and the most important, his eyes are on the ball. Look at the focus in his eyes at the split second before contact. His eyes are on the ball and he is focused intently on his ultimate goal, drive the ball hard somewhere. If you watched the St. Louis Cardinals game last night you saw that the result of Albert's focus was a 4-5 night with three doubles and a home run. He was in the zone, and when a hitter is in the zone a baseball looks like its as big as a beach ball. Being in the zone though is a result of all of his hard work and the focus you see there in his eyes.

How often in life do we lose our focus on the important things? How often do we "take our eye off the ball? It's easy to do, life gets busy and we have a lot going on. But just like Albert Pujols in the picture above, if you put your eyes back on the ball, if you focus back in on what's important you can find yourself in the zone.

**bloggers note** I think the game of baseball is a beautiful game. I think a perfect swing is beautiful. I think a diving catch is an incredible thing to watch. A backdoor slider amazes me and good fundamentals when fielding a ground ball makes me happy. Seeing a fly ball off the bat, taking the correct angle on it, tracking it down and making the catch is a work of art. I love the game of baseball, and the playoffs are my time of the year. Since the Indians are back to playing like they did in "Major League" I am on the Cardinal bandwagon! Go Red Birds!

Cling to You

The music video above is by one of my favorite new rap artists, Trip Lee. I have always been a rap/hip hop fan but as I get further in my walk with Jesus I find it hard to find good rap music that's not dangerous for my soul... I have, however, found a few and one of them is the artist above. (Lecrae and the 116 clique are a couple others.) But I was listening to my iPod this morning on the way to drop the boys off at day care and then on my way into work and this song came on. I have heard it before numerous times and even would say it is one of my favorites. But this morning it's like God tuned me in to every word and the message came through loud and clear. The message is one worth listening to and paying attention to. To sum it up what he's saying is that he's going to trust in God whether the rough times in his life go away or not.

"...Lord it may get better but it may not. So when I pray God I pray I would trust you whether or not the pain stops. So when the pain falls, coming down like rain drops, I just gotta cling to you..."

I cannot tell you how many times in my life I fall into the rut of only talking to God when I want something, or when I want something to go away. I find myself now spending a lot of time praising God for all the wonderful things that he has done in my life. Asking God for help, asking God to make "the pain" go away and praising God through the good times are all part of being in a relationship with him. What this song is saying is that, even if I ask you for help and you don't provide it, if the hard times don't go away, I am going to still praise you. I will still love you and I will still sing your name.

"...Lord you know I'm hoping that my situation will switch. That you'll show me your amazin' by erasin' it quick. But I've noticed that my hope is in you changin' it quick. Instead of knowing you're enough I was chasing your gifts..."

Loud and clear this morning God told me to love him all the time, whether he answers me immediately or in his timing. Whether it's good times or if I'm struggling, I need to always remember that his love is enough. "In this life full of strife if my days get grayer I'm content with the fact that you'll stay my Savior."