As we all know my wife is pregnant, if you didn't know now you do, and I am trying my best to figure out what it takes to be a good parent. I have searched countless hours on the Internet looking for "the new father handbook," I cant find one anywhere. I thought instead of worrying about all the things I do not know I would list all the things I do know about newborns and go from there. They are, in no particular order, as follows.
1. Babies do not love Buffalo Wild Wings boneless wings as much as I do.
2. Babies do not sleep for twelve consecutive hours through the night on my day off like I do. (Anna just told me about that one)
3. Babies can not get up and get the things they want on their own.
4. Once we leave the hospital for home, no one comes in and checks on me to make sure I'm doing alright.
5. The world doesn't revolve around me. (Anna just told me about this one too)
6. Because of all the times I have talked my friends kids into doing bad things, none of my friends are allowed to babysit.
7. Babies cant take showers.
8. Our baby will not think my DVD collection is as cool as I do.
And lastly
9. If the baby happens to be female, someday some boy is going to show up to my house and want to date her.
10. Due to number 9, I really need to work on my ju jitsu.
Fact: Cats are not waterproof, and Colt loves the following: strawberries, ice cream of any flavor, watermelon, whip cream, cherries, and prune juice. Jamie said I have to wait a few months to give him Asian Zing sauce on his food. Darn Jamie.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know we will one day be babysitting a lil Brillhart. You better believe we're gonna teach it all the bad stuff you managed to teach ours lol.
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