So tonight for the first time I came up with the courage to put my son in his crib to sleep. I sat in there with him and sang to him until I could see his eyes were getting heavy, then I just hummed until he finally fell asleep. As I stood there over him watching him sleeping in his very own crib, in his very own room (which is not my room anymore) I was overwhelmed with two very different emotions at the same time. First, I was sad. My son was making his first step to freedom, he's not sleeping in our room anymore. I used to be able to wake up in the middle of the night and hear him breathing and lay back down knowing my son was right there and he was okay. Now he's in his own room and sleeping in his own crib and I think that I'm probably going to cry myself to sleep tonight as I think about him growing and all the "steps" he'll be taking until one day he spreads his wings and flies for himself. With all that being said, there is the other emotion that I was feeling as I watched my son there sleeping in his room, in his crib. I was so proud of my little man and his first step towards independence from me. I then saw all the times that I will be proud of him as he makes his transitions toward freedom some day. It made me think of the day that he will ride the bus for the first time, or the first time that he stays overnight somewhere other than here. Or when he graduates from high school and makes his move to manhood and goes off to college all on his own. The thought of those mile stones make me incredibly proud of my son and all that he is going to accomplish along the way. So tonight I'm kind of torn... I'm very proud that Leyton is moving out on his own, but deep down I'm kind of bummed out that my little man wont be there when I wake in the middle of the night. So tonight I may cry it out a little, but tomorrow Ill be okay!
No comments:
Post a Comment